No Anchors

I’m beginning to believe that the secret to happiness is non-attachment. I have a propensity to attach myself to my ideas and beliefs as I try, with great determination, to make my them my truth.

The problem here is that the truth will always be the truth, no matter how hard I work. As a very young child, I became good at hiding the truth.  Sometimes it was to get away with things that I shouldn’t have done and sometimes it was to hide where I came from and who I was.  I fancied myself quite good at this hiding game, so I continued to do it, almost unconsciously, throughout my life.

While this skill protected me from punishment and ridicule, it gave me a false sense of power that I could make my ideas my reality.  I became less aware of the writing on the wall and more concerned with how I could deny it.  My slogan became “I’m always okay” and that was not the truth.  I anchored myself to the belief that I was someone who was always happy and who accepted my position without opposition.  Even when things in my life were crumbling around me, I acted as if I was A-Okay.

There is no truth without awareness.  My yoga mat has become my tiny little fountain of knowledge.  It is there that I dedicate my practice to aparigraha, or non-attachment, as a piece of the Eight-Limbed Path of Yoga.  As I study, without judgement, all the things my body can, might and will never do, I begin to accept.  This acceptance of all that I truly am follows me off my mat and gives me peace.

As I become a more open and honest person with strangers and friends alike, I begin to accept reality.  I let go of the notion that I had an easy childhood.  I acknowledged the fact that losing the person I was most close to at a young age will have a lasting effect on all my present and future relationships. I conceded that my marriage was unsalvageable. I became aware that I needed help and advice in business before me and my yoga studio fell on our faces.

A few month ago, I felt helpless and hopeless as I sat in my car looking down at my studio from the street.  In one of those epiphany-esque moments, I  realized that I am not that place.  That place and it’s successes and failures are not my truth.  I was hit with a sudden relief in feeling completely unattached to my job, my home and my life.

Since that day, I have felt lighter and freer and even more hopeful that I will experience more in this life by letting go.  I can enjoy my wishes, dreams and goals more with a sense that life is supporting me and creating beauty that I may not have even been able to imagine.

Chair Twist to Detoxify

Parivrtta Utkatasana

Here’s my latest article for the Stanly News and Press:

Any kind of twist in Yoga wrings out the internal organs to release toxins from the body.  Twists also keep the spine loose and can ease back pain.  Twisting too suddenly or deeply in an everyday activity can cause lasting back injuries, so it is very important to take some kind of twist each day as a part of your Yoga practice.

Chair Twist, or Parivrtta Utkatasana, is one of the more difficult twisting poses, so be sure to begin with modifications before working into deeper expressions of the pose.

To practice Chair Twist, bring your big toes together and bend your knees while leaning back over your heels with your weight.  To move gradually into the pose, begin by resting your left elbow in the crook between the thighs and placing the right hand on top of the left in Namaste, or prayer hands.  As you twist to your right, you can take your gaze up over your right shoulder or you can let your gaze fall to the floor to relax your neck.

As you feel your body ready to deepen in the posture, you can take your left elbow onto the outside of your right leg. Be sure to lengthen your spine nice and long to allow more space for the spine to twist. Often the left knee will slide forward because the hips are no longer square, so check your knees and pull the left knee back in line with the right.

As another option, you can make a fist with your right hand and press your fist into your left palm for more leverage through your arm strength.  If you spine is quite flexible, you can take the left fingers down to the floor on the outside of the right foot and lift your right hand up to the ceiling in scissor arms.

Most people have a tendency to let the belly go when bending down, so engage Uddiyana Bandha by lifting the belly in and up to protect the back.

Hold this pose for five to seven long, slow breaths in and out through your nose and then repeat on the other side.  When you have finished, notice how your spine feels and imagine you  are cleansed from deep inside.

Find Your Center

Many people come to Yoga classes strictly for the physical benefits, and that is great because there are countless physical benefits that Yoga provides. Others come for the relaxation and stress relief that Yoga brings to their busy lives. No matter the reason for engaging in a practice, every practitioner will begin to find that they feel more “centered” as a result of bringing Yoga into their lives.

Centeredness is basically feeling that the different sides of you are in greater balance.  There are many sides to everyone and that is what makes each of us and the world as a whole so amazing and beautiful.  But sometimes we experience frustration with ourselves if we feel that we are leaning too far to one side of our personality.

For instance, if you are an outgoing, go-getter type of person, you may begin to feel that you have a hard time relaxing and letting things go at times when that might be the best thing.  If you are more reserved and easy-going, you may feel that there are times that you wish you would have spoken up or gone for something you wanted instead of letting it quietly pass you by.

Quieting your mind can be a big step in creating more balance in your personality and your life.  In Yoga, we even believe that working on balancing poses in the body can establish more balance in all aspects of the person.  There is an art to giving enough effort to hold the body up while relaxing enough to stay still in the pose.

At the beginning and end of each practice, just sit quietly in a comfortable position.  Sometimes you may want to sit in easy, cross-legged pose and sometimes you may want to take a child’s pose or just lie down on your back.  When you find stillness in the body, begin to focus on your breath.  You want your breath to flow slowly and evenly, starting in the belly and traveling through the lungs, the chest and the throat as you inhale and then fall down in the opposite succession on the exhale.  Spend some time noticing how you feel physically and what is at the forefront of your mind.

It is nice to consider the difference in how you feel before and after your practice to see the centering and balancing effects of the poses.  Before you leave your mat, tell yourself that you can take this feeling with you into your day and your life.

Salute the Sun

My friend, Louisa Jane

Here’s my latest article for the Stanly News and Press:

Surya is the Sanskrit word for “sun” and Namaskar means “to honor” or “to adore”.  So Surya Namaskar, or Sun Salutation, is a practice in Yoga that allows us to greet the sky’s sun each day, which is our source of life here on earth.  It is also meant to greet and honor our own light, which is our source of truth here on earth. This flow begins and ends with the hands resting at heart-center as a reminder that our own light lives in our hearts.

This sequence can be practiced alone each day as a way to increase your flexibility, strength, calm and focus, or it can be done as a nice warm up for a longer Yoga practice.  Either way, if you make Sun Salutations a part of your regular routine, the energy in your body will flow more freely and you will feel more open and relaxed each day.

Start this practice slowly and if you’d like, you can gradually speed it up.  Always connect your breath with the movements and try to focus the mind on an intention, or a positive thought.

Begin standing tall with your palms resting together in front of your heart with your feet together or hips-width apart.  As you inhale, sweep your arms up over your head, bringing your hands back together at the top and gazing up toward your thumbs.  As you exhale, open your arms to the sides as if you are swan diving off of a diving board with a flat, long back, into a standing forward fold with your gaze toward your legs.

From your forward fold, begin to gaze ahead of you on the floor and inhale as you begin to stretch your spine out long and flat.  You can either place your fingertips on the floor in front of your or on your shins to get the back flat enough to rest a bowl of soup on it.

Fold back down into a forward fold and on this long exhale, and bend your knees and place the palms of your hands on the floor, step one foot and then the other to the back of your mat in a plank pose and lower yourself down to your stomach.  If you cannot get all of this in one exhale, then go slower and take as many breaths as you need.  If you cannot lower, or Chaturanga, from plank on the hands and toes, you can drop softly to your knees before you come to your belly.

From the belly, take an inhale and press into your hands, lifting your shoulders and chest from the floor in Cobra, or Bhujangasana.  Then exhale as you press up to your hands and knees or just roll onto the balls of your feet so you can lift the hips and rest on your hands and feet on the floor in Downward Facing Dog, or Adho Mukha Svanasana.

From Down Dog, rise on the balls of your feet, bend your knees and gaze toward your feet on your inhale. Exhale as your bring one foot and then the other between your hands at the top of your mat.  As you inhale, come back to the flat back position with the fingertips on the floor or the shins and exhale back to a forward fold.  Reverse your swan dive as you inhale and open the arms out to the sides and bring yourself up to standing with your hands together over your head, gazing toward the thumbs.  Finish with an exhale as you rest the hands together again in front of the heart.

Repeat this flow three to five times at first and eventually work up into ten to fifteen times a day.  Notice and enjoy how you feel afterward.

 

 

Yoga for Runners

This is my latest article for the Stanly News and Press:

My friend and amazing runner, Mariel

I admittedly only run if I’m being chased by a dog, but I admire those competitive, focused people who run for fitness and health.  This weekend I attended my first half and full marathon.  I was there as a cheerleader for friends, not as a competitor, but I had a blast!  It was so inspiring to see people of all ages, shapes and sizes achieving a goal they have trained so long and hard for.

The human body is amazing and I love to see how the running community has grown to offer something for everyone.  Running is a great outlet for those who are driven to be competitive with others and themselves while strengthening the body on the inside and out.

I believe that Yoga stands on its own as a beautiful way to care for body and spirit, but it is also very beneficial for runners and athletes of all kinds.  Because the postures in Yoga open, stretch and strengthen every part of the body in almost every possible way, they are great counters to any repetitive activity as a way to avoid injury and offset overuse.

A Yoga practice is also valuable to runners and athletes because it allows them a space to focus solely on how they feel and honor and care for their body without any focus on achievement, goals or competition.  This can help the individual become more patient with their body during training or recovery as they begin to understand the benefits of listening to the body, rather than pushing it to its limits.

Mariel Wooten, a Boston qualifier who has completed nine marathons, says “Yoga makes me a better runner, pure and simple.  Without it, I lose flexibility and become more prone to injury. Without a doubt, yoga keeps my core strong and adds balance to my marathon training.”

As a Yoga teacher, I have seen my fair share of running injuries. A regular Yoga practice can keep the shoulders relaxed, the core stable, the hips open, the hamstrings and quadriceps flexible, the knees and ankles loose and the feet strong and stretched.  These things can help prevent hamstring pulls, sciatica, iliotibial band syndrome, “runner’s knee”, sprained ankles and plantar fasciitis.

For a healthier body, if you hit the pavement, the trails, the track or the treadmill, be sure to spend some quality time on the mat, as well.

Healing Ourselves

This is my latest article for the Stanly News and Press.  It is dedicated to my beautiful friend, student and teacher, Erin Rose Ryan Sizer.

I am writing this just hours after attending a beautiful friend and fellow Yoga teacher’s funeral, so the power of Yoga to heal emotional wounds is on my mind. Yoga is great for your emotional health because it helps you to remain focused on the present moment and your breath, which are essentially all we own.

We live in a world of “what if’s”.  We worry so much about what we could have done differently in our pasts that we waste the lessons of our sorrow on regret.  Studying and practicing Yoga helps us learn to let go of attachments.  People tend to hold onto the sad things that have happened in their lives the same way they grip and hold themselves up in surrendering postures because they fear that it will hurt when they let go.

Sometimes is does hurt when the muscles relax and pose deepens, but we find that after a few moments of focusing on the present and the breath, the pain subsides and we are now okay in this new place.  The body will never change if we do not let go.  You can be stuck in a moment the same way you can feel stuck in a Yoga pose.  But the more you practice, the more you will reap the rewards of riddance.

The only way the pain of your body and your mind will change is by going straight through it with long deep breaths.  In life and in asanas, you cannot go over it, under it or around it.  Sometimes you have to hold your poses longer to work through it and sometimes it happens more in a flow, but the work has to be done.

Focusing your attention on the always-present moment is something we do not get a lot practice with in our society.  I think this is why Yoga has started moving so strongly through our culture as a way to counter all of our distractions.  Focusing on all of the senses during a Yoga class brings heightened awareness of that focus off the mat.  If we realize that at this very moment everything is okay and we are all right, we will begin to heal and appreciate all we have more deeply.

Yoga is not a magic pill for healing your pain and sorrow, but it is an effective tool that can bring you more peace and more gratitude.  A Yoga class is a place that supports us and accepts us and waits patiently for us decide when we are ready to let go.

Listen To Your Body

My beautiful friend and fellow yogi, Meghan.

I write an article about Yoga in my local newspaper, the Stanly News and Press.  Here is my latest:

In a recent New York Times article titled “How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body”, William J. Broad discusses the dangers of injury through Yoga.  When someone sent this article to me, my first thought was “Oh no!”  But as I read it, I found myself agreeing with much of his point.

Broad tells of teachers and students who have experienced injuries due to taking their egos with them on their mats.  I try to remind my students regularly that Yoga is not a competitive activity and if you are a naturally competitive person, please use this time to let that go and work on listening to your body.

Our American culture seems to scream that more is better, but when it comes to physical activities that we hope to maintain and sustain our good health, I don’t believe that is a good philosophy.  I fell in love with Yoga because it was the first exercise that I felt I could do for the rest of my life.  I was lucky because I found teachers who stressed safety and modifications and who did not push me to find my limits, but encouraged me to become more mindful and aware of my body’s abilities and limitations.

We do not say that we “do Yoga”, we say that we “practice Yoga”.  This means that it is something we study regularly with the knowledge that we will have to adapt our poses and our practice at different times in our lives.

I see pictures of people in amazing poses and I have to admit that I am impressed.  But I can also honestly say that I know that I will probably never practice or master those types of poses and that does not bother me one bit.  I practice Yoga for my health, not because I want to perform in Cirque de Soleil or make it into Yoga Journal magazine.

I, too, have experienced pain and injury through Yoga.  These things happened from overuse or pushing too hard when I was not warm enough to demonstrate a difficult pose in class.  I should know better, but life is a process and those injuries have taught me valuable lessons about myself.

If Yoga is a part of your life, remember to listen to your body, always move slowly and mindfully through your poses and never concern yourself with what someone else looks like in a pose.  “Know thyself.”

I’m Just Not Business

A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business. – Henry Ford

I spend my days teaching Yoga and Pilates.  There is nothing else I would rather be doing and I am sincerely passionate about it.  They have both changed my life and I want to be a part of changing someone else’s, one class at a time.

I am the luckiest person in the world because I do what I love, what I believe in and I know I’m good at it.

I had this epiphany one day in a Yoga class that I should bring this studio to my small, hometown because I was afraid there were people there who needed it and might not get it if I didn’t come.  No one was more amazed than me that I actually made that happen.

So here I sit owning a studio in my hometown: a dream come true.

But for a while I got lost in all the “business” stuff.  People kept telling me it’s a business and I have to make all these decisions based on numbers and marketing.  I became so worried that I was missing opportunities for exposure and accolades in the name of the business that I forgot why I even wanted to create this space in the first place.

If I had raised money for a cause through the studio, I needed to call the newspaper and see if they would write an article about it.  I wanted to share stories of things about me in sutras that I thought might help others, but I became too afraid of making myself look bad.  I was losing all the things that I had gained and learned from my Yoga practice.  Business isn’t humble or Yogic, but I would like to be.

Today I became free again and it’s such a relief.  I became free because I’m no longer feeling like a business and I’m back to feeling like a person and a teacher.  I have let people down and opened myself up to criticism, and now that it feels like expectations are low, I can finally be myself again.

I’m going to send donations with no hoopla whatsoever.  I’m going to share whatever I want to in classes in the hopes that my existence can make someone’s better. I’m going to do what I’m good at and not apologize for what I’m not good at. I’ve never wanted to be successful, I’ve only wanted to be helpful.  My intentions are pure and good and this business of business is not.

Life Is Messy

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. -Marilyn Monroe

Yesterday I got to hang out with three very important people from my past life.  It was an interesting day because I didn’t see them all together, but they were all from the same era of my life.

As our conversations went on and we caught up on what we’ve missed with each other and asked about all the people we knew, the phrase “life is messy” kept coming up again and again.  We even said that if someone would have told us twenty years ago all the things that would unravel in everyone’s lives, we would have said “No friggin way!”.

But as interesting as the stories of all these crazy events were, I found myself more fascinated about the different ways everyone put their pieces back together.  Some found religion, some self-medicate, some are successful in their careers, some are divorced, some never married, some push people away, some are homeless, some went to prison, some found Yoga and some send gorgeous Christmas cards every year to make us all believe they are living the American dream.

As I drove home last night, I had a sense of sadness that life can be so hard and at any moment the whole thing can fall apart.  But as I woke up this morning, I felt this sense of pride in myself and happiness for all of us who don’t give up and search for positive ways to sustain.

Life is uncertain and messy and the only thing we can control about it is how we respond.  You can clean out your closet and leave everything lying on the floor reminding you each day of your mess, or you can get rid of the things you don’t need and put the things you love back in, all organized and pretty.  If we keep the door shut, it will never get dirty again, but then we wouldn’t get to sport all our hats and stroll around in all our favorite shoes.

It’s a Memoir Kind of Day

Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. -William James

Things that hurt, instruct. – Benjamin Franklin

Today’s date is significant to me.  There were many years that this date brought me sadness.  Without analyzing how I would feel, I woke up this morning, remembered the date and decided to feel thankfulness instead. So I woke up my oldest son (who was in my bed from last night’s bad dream) and told him that I love him and blew on his belly like I did when he was little.  He laughed.  Then I woke up my youngest son and kissed his face and told him that he is kind and smart and wonderful and that I love him, too.  He smiled.  We were starting out this day just right.

After I dropped them off at school, I thought about why I feel so happy today.  I love my boys and I love my life.  But I would not have the same type of appreciation for any of it if it were not for those days when I hated my life, those times that I thought God had it out for me and  I could not catch a break.

Looking back, my biggest problem was that I could not accept things I could not change.  Today I can.

A friend commented recently on how good I am at moving on.  Fortunately and unfortunately, I have never felt like I had a choice and if given different resources, I may not have picked up the pieces when life fell apart.  But even though someone moves on with the living, their mind can take them to other places.  Places in the past or places in some imaginary world somewhere.  I was one of those people.

Today I see powerful evidence that I am living in the present.  I give most of the credit to Yoga and Meditation and for just showing up on my mat or my pillow.  I have learned that my mind doesn’t control me anymore and if thoughts creep in that have no place in my present world, then I can simply push them away and come back to the gift of this moment.

This way of living and thinking has brought me more peace than I ever dreamed possible.  Peace does not come from perfect circumstances, it comes from feeling each breath, seeing everything before you and accepting who and where you are with a heart that is open to endless possibilities.