There is no distance on this earth as far away as yesterday. ~Robert Nathan
The future is no place to place your better days. ~Dave Matthews
I have a necklace that I bought because it is suppose to help me remember to be more present. I even had to do several things to “activate” it. Which might sound kind of hocus-pocus, but I swear, when I start to realize that I’m living too much in the past or future, I put it on and feel better. I don’t believe that this necklace holds some kind of magical power, I just know that it provides a little reminder for me.
Fifteen years ago, I was in love. I thought I was going to get married and live happily ever after. But that February, he fell in a hiking accident, and five days later he died. As much as I hoped life would stop and let me off back then, it didn’t. I found love again, got married and now I have two boys that I love more than life. But despite all my efforts, every February I work myself into a funk. Not really consciously, but it always seems to happen. Just a time of year that reminds me of the most suckish of things. The worst part is, I know what grief looks like. I know that when things start looking grim for my future, I fear the grief I might feel the most.
So to get myself out of the past, I let my thoughts slip into the future. This can work both ways. Sometimes I imagine this awesome future full of love and good times, and sometimes I imagine it with lots of struggles and sadness. Either way…I’m wrong.
The anecdote for this past/future syndrome is an easy one. Be present! My sons love it when I make up these random bedtime stories. They ask me so many questions, like it’s something I know all about. They belly laugh at the silly parts so hard that I feel like I should be a writer on SNL. It puts me in the moment like nothing else. I don’t know what I’ll say next, and it’s exciting. So tomorrow I’m going to get up and live my life like I’m a character in one of my stories. Who knows what I’ll do?