Stuck in the Present

white_water_falls_oconee_countyThere is no distance on this earth as far away as yesterday. ~Robert Nathan

The future is no place to place your better days. ~Dave Matthews

I have a necklace that I bought because it is suppose to help me remember to be more present. I even had to do several things to “activate” it. Which might sound kind of hocus-pocus, but I swear, when I start to realize that I’m living too much in the past or future, I put it on and feel better. I don’t believe that this necklace holds some kind of magical power, I just know that it provides a little reminder for me.

Fifteen years ago, I was in love. I thought I was going to get married and live happily ever after. But that February, he fell in a hiking accident, and five days later he died. As much as I hoped life would stop and let me off back then, it didn’t. I found love again, got married and now I have two boys that I love more than life. But despite all my efforts, every February I work myself into a funk. Not really consciously, but it always seems to happen. Just a time of year that reminds me of the most suckish of things. The worst part is, I know what grief looks like. I know that when things start looking grim for my future, I fear the grief I might feel the most.

So to get myself out of the past, I let my thoughts slip into the future. This can work both ways. Sometimes I imagine this awesome future full of love and good times, and sometimes I imagine it with lots of struggles and sadness. Either way…I’m wrong.

The anecdote for this past/future syndrome is an easy one. Be present! My sons love it when I make up these random bedtime stories. They ask me so many questions, like it’s something I know all about. They belly laugh at the silly parts so hard that I feel like I should be a writer on SNL. It puts me in the moment like nothing else. I don’t know what I’ll say next, and it’s exciting. So tomorrow I’m going to get up and live my life like I’m a character in one of my stories. Who knows what I’ll do?

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2 thoughts on “Stuck in the Present

  1. Look at you with your pretty picture! You now have mad blogging skills! Great post. I didn’t know that about your loss. Sorry to hear that. Present moment is the remedy for everything. As Eckhart Tolle says, what can be wrong about now?

  2. As we have all learned. The time is NOW! So ….”Breathe in , breathe out, move on!”

    Enjoyed your post! 🙂

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