There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin
CH-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strange… – David Bowie
When our bodies are in a difficult yoga posture, we naturally start to take on tension to hold us exactly where we are. But if we notice that tension and allow it to release, we can get deeper in the posture and our bodies begin to change. Even though I know it doesn’t serve me, I still find it so difficult to let go of the tension. I know there is a deeper version of the asana just waiting for me. Why do I find it so difficult to let go and let it be?
I was in line at the bank the other day behind an elderly man. He was lamenting about the changing times and how much better things use to be. I felt badly for him because I could tell he didn’t understand the new technology and policies of the world and it was hard. Change is hard. I could relate to his fear and frustration. Change makes me tired. Lately I’ve come to realize that I would rather deal with life as it happens to me than to change my life myself. Laziness and fear are driving me. Not good motivators.
I have yet to find anything in nature that doesn’t change. So I’m thinking that I should, too. Our bodies, faces, hair and voices change throughout our lives. But it happens gradually and we may not even notice the changes. It would be so much easier to remain the same, even if we know it doesn’t make sense for our lives anymore. There is this security in remaining the same. When people tell me their hamstrings or hips are tight, here’s what I want to say: “And they always will be if you don’t do something about it.” Easy for me to say, because I’m a yoga teacher. But it’s true. If you don’t like something, you are the only one who can change it.
I have been guilty of staying in a space in my life that doesn’t work and I have made every excuse known to man to stay put. But as I grow in my practice, I’m also growing in my acceptance of change. I suppose it will never be easy, but I’m going to try to embrace changes in my life with the faith that change is good.
I know that I would not keep doing yoga if my practice didn’t change. It would be painful and boring if it always felt the same and I never accomplished anything new. Yoga is always like life, and I have to remember that.