What’s My Type?

left-brain-right-brainMishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. – James Russell Lowell

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. – Corita Kent

Remember, no man is a failure who has friends. – It’s a Wonderful Life

I remember the first time someone called me a “Type A”.  I was so surprised because I did not see myself this way at all.  I wasn’t always the best student, I got in trouble a lot as a kid and I acted a little rebellious a lot of the time.  It just never occurred to me that I was giving off a perfectionist-type vibe because that was not how I was feeling at all.  So I began to observe myself from a diiferent perspective…trying to decide if I was, in fact, one of these people who had issues with time, money and dirt.

Oooohhhh, I did not like what I saw.

Admittedly, I do have an issue with time.  I HATE to be late.  I can be in the best mood ever and when I realize that I am running late, I get completely stressed out.  But I’ve always attributed that to having a military dad.  Living in a small town where everything was close, we always left the  house precisely 15 minutes before a scheduled event.  No exceptions.  Breakfast, lunch and dinner (except we called it breakfast, dinner and supper back then) were always at the same time.  If you missed it, too bad Ole Joe…go make yourself some peanut butter crackers or something.  Okay, scratch that off my list because there’s a good reason for that one.

Money…since I never had it growing up, I never thought it had any effect on me.  But in my “take a step away to look at myself” project I realized that I did have issues with money, but in a less than traditional way.  Rather than wanting to prove I had some or that my things were valuable, I would do the opposite.  I would brag about what a good deal I got on something…getting a compliment on something from Goodwill and thrift stores was the ultimate in my mind.   And even when I got older and had a little money to spend, I would get embarrassed if someone called me out on something I owned that may have cost a little too much.  Things were not looking very “Type B” for me.

Lastly, the dirt thing.  This one is trickier and may be my savior from that title I do not want to take.  As a kid, I had the messiest room you’ve ever seen and I despised taking a bath.  Gross…I know.  My parents would have to chase me around the yard to get me to come in for one.  My greasy hair in my fourth grade class picture will attest to this.  But since I bathe regularly now and my room is usually not so messy anymore, I guess I have grown out of it.  I do like things to be neat and organized and I can’t stand losing things because they aren’t in the right place, but I don’t obsess about not getting dirty.  My kids don’t always match and their hair gets really shaggy…so I’m hoping this gives me an out.

The only thing bothering me right now about this label, is that I am feeling a bit like a failure lately.  I committed myself for twelve years to something and I finally had to let it go.  It was well worth the fight and it was also well worth letting go of after I lost, but there is this little room inside that is disappointed in myself.  But if life really is just a succession of moments to live fully, then I just may succeed after all.  Yoga stresses being present and mindful in asanas and all you do, so maybe that is why I was so attracted to it.  I am getting better everyday at being where I am and enjoying what is in front of me.  I don’t look at others in my situation as failures, so I’m trying to cut myself the same slack I allow everyone else.  I think I’m going to consider myself an Type AB personality, live in the moment, give life my best and get on with it!

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