Today is my every other Sunday. Every other Friday night and every other Saturday don’t seem to bother me as much anymore. I’ve learned to keep myself busy with work and friends on those days. But that every other Sunday thing gets me every time. Sunday is family day and when the other members of your family are required by a legally binding contract to spend it with their father, there’s not much you can do about that.
I try to make the most of the time that I have by getting things done. This is helpful and I can hear all those married moms right now going “I wish I had every other Sunday to be alone and do anything I want to do!” It’s just not the same when it’s not a choice and when you miss your children.
So as not to be a complete Negative Nellie, I’ve been trying my darnedest to come up with positive points about being a divorced mother who shares her kids. Here are the top ten things that are good about every other Sunday:
1. I am forced to meet life head on. There aren’t many distractions on Sundays so I can spend some time inside my head and figure things out calmly that stress me out during the week.
2. I am reminded of what it feels like to be just me. The me I was before I became someone’s wife and mother. And maybe the me that I’m growing into by being forced to grow up more than I ever wished.
3. I am learning how to relax without meditation or savasana. I can relax in my practice, but I had forgotten how to do nothing without structure. I’m getting much better at laziness!
4. I get the joy of being the one the boys miss. As a stay at home mom, I was always there and when their dad would get home from work or a trip, he would get the super greeting and those precious looks on their faces that said they were so happy he was home. I always wondered how that would feel, and every other Sunday night I get to find out.
5. I am more compassionate to their father because I am reminded that he has to feel like this every Monday through Friday as well as every other Sunday.
6. I am coming to terms with my fear of loneliness and I may even be conquering it.
7. I find myself closer to God every other Sunday, whether I go to church or not. It’s just me and the Big Guy spending a little one on one time together.
8. I can spend more quality time with the boys when they are with me because I can use EOS to do things that would pull me away, like laundry and bills.
9. I get to trust the universe. I was a control freak when it came to my kids and now I can’t be as much anymore. I have to trust that their dad and God are taking care of them and that everything is going to be okay.
10. I get to treasure all the other every other Sundays even more because I’m so grateful for that special time as a family.
It takes a lot of squeezing, but I will keep trying to make lemonade every other Sunday.