I started this day in a Yoga and Meditation practice that inspired many questions, which I spoke out loud. I listened carefully for answers, which came in the form of tears. It reminded me that I must experience my life fully, both the good and the bad parts. A good cry can be a very effective and cheap therapy session.
Later, while teaching my lunch time class, I talked about having patience within the poses as you watch the body slowly open up and let go when it is ready. About that time, I noticed a fly zipping around the room. I continued to teach, but felt distracted by this guy and started wishing he would park it somewhere. I cracked open two of the three doors in the room hoping he would find his way to freedom, so I could focus fully on teaching a good deep stretch class. I finally decided that I, too, needed to practice patience during this practice; patience with a bug.
Instead of feeling annoyed, I began feeling sorrow for this little fella who was darting back and forth, landing on the windows and mirrors, mistaking them for liberation. I kept thinking to myself how frantic he looked trying to find his way to what he wanted and needed, when all the time there were two easy ways to get out of this room full of big scary giants who, had they not been kind yogis, could have smashed him in a single swat.
It became endearing, actually, watching him fly to the inside of an open door and buzz quickly away as if there was nothing there that could help him get out of this scary predicament. And there in the moment of watching a fly and teaching a Yoga class, I heard another answer to my morning’s questions. There is a way out of sadness, loneliness and worry, maybe even two.
Slow down, look around, don’t freak out. I am that fly. That fly is me. I am creating my own bondage.
There are many windows I’ve been looking at others through that seemed like the way out. I’ve stared into mirrors of myself to reflect on my life and mistakes I’ve made so I won’t repeat the past. It might be time to step outside of an open door. Like this fly, I have been all alone, working really hard, never giving up, probably making things harder than they need to be. It may be time to relax and enjoy this unique view that is only available from where I stand. We all wanna fly, but we don’t want to fly in circles. We want to fly through open doors to be free.